Sometimes I wonder why I create. It’s not because I think I’m really good at it. I used to think that way. But I’ve humbled a lot from having my work being ridiculed and torn down in my past. But even when that all was happening. I still created. I still shared my work and told some of my ideas just to see if it connects to others. Some people understood what I was trying to do. Others, not so much. I actually had been in an art club where my ideas was given crickets. But still I created. Even had a kid who told me I was terrible as an artist and I should quit as a little kid. But I still drew. I continued drawing for twenty years. It baffles me that after all of that, I still decided to pick up the pencil to write or draw.

You know what I think it could be? I think not creating feels like I’m holding my breath. Creating feels like breathing to me. I don’t have to create all the time. But in the back of my mind, I think of cool concepts and ideas. It’s pretty cool. But sometimes it’s annoying. Especially if I’m trying to relax. It sounds like I’m obsessive. And that could be it. But I’ve been doing it for a long time. And I love every second of it. But there are days when it’s hard. Some days I feel like what I’m doing isn’t important to anymore but me. And it makes me wonder. Do other people feel this way? People putting their heart and soul into their work and feel like it’s insignificant sometimes.

It might be insignificant. But then again, it might not be. Look at stories over centuries where people have created movies, games and books. It’s human to create things that interests us. And maybe people of the past have felt the same way I do. But yet, they create. Like it’s built in our DNA to platy with abstraction and make new concepts. And funny enough, other people seem to value what we create. Pop culture is filled with ideas made by a person or a group who only made work that they thought was cool. And I bet even they doubted if their work mattered… Maybe the creator of said works are too close to their work. They may love their work, but maybe a sense of insecurity, like what have creatively, affects their perspective. And still people love what they’ve made. Its all a connection with others game, it seems. Maybe that’s why I create. Because I want to share and connect with others. And hopefully have people love what I made as much as I do.

Do any of you feel the same way I do? Let me know.