The night was a living nightmare. It always was when your father drank his aggression and frustrations just to take it out on me or my mother… He always scrunched his face and showing only the blacks of his eyes. Like a demon finding a damned soul to torment for eternity. I guess me and my mother were damned forever, seeing I shared the same blood of a monster. He may be the devil incarnate, but I refuse to be the antichrist in his home of hell.

But that night, I had no clue the dysfunctional home would muster a tragedy. A tragedy that happened because of him. It was an unusual night. We were eating at the table with only sounds of the forks having a loud conversation as they scrape the porcelain plates. But I guess mine spoke the loudest as I tapped the plate, not feeling the glutton of my stomach wanting what was on the plate. As I tapped, from the corner of my eye, my father’s eyes turned black again.

“Eat your food. And stop tapping the plate!”

But I didn’t stop. At that point in time, I wished he’d kill me. I couldn’t stand the fear. I was only eight, and even I had lost the energy a child should have. I was drained by the spirit who I called dad. The more I tapped, the angrier he became. “I’m warning you. If you don’t stop.”

Then my mom, the sweetest woman I knew, said with the care of an angel. “Honey, please stop and eat your food.” 

And so, I stopped when she asked. I respected her. But I sure as hell didn’t respect him. I guess you could call me petty. I ate my food and stayed silent. I refused to look in his direction, but I smiled a little. And I guess that was his tipping point.

He smacked me, hard. Like he was putting that force on a grown man his size. I fell out of the chair and onto the floor. “You think it’s funny to disrespect me!?” I held the fire on my face. And tried to soothe it with my cold hands. But it was more than my burning face that was struck. My very being was violated. I couldn’t take it. It was everyday. Every hope things would change like he promised. But the only thing that changed, was the false promises of love and respect. But his snake’s tongue was only speaking of a contract that only applied for him. Not me. Not my mother.

The narcissist’s oath to dictate and control. And when my mother said yes to marrying him. She signed a contract with the devil. She sold her soul for love. A love spell so powerful, she stayed with him in his house of pain.

But breaking that spell, would come at a cost. And the cost was deadly. 

My mom ran to my father that tried to grab me and pushed him away. Trying to make him leave me alone. He pushed her the floor. But, like the fierce lion she was protecting her cub. She clawed him in the face.

“Leave my child alone!” She roared.

Like a wounded wild beast, he looked at me with crazy eyes. “Go to your room.” His rage turned from wild to focused. I was no longer his target. My mother was. I was worried for her, I shook my head no, trying to stand by her side. My mom knew what he was capable of. She broke his love spell. And sadly on that night, she paid the price. This would be the last moments I saw my mother alive. 

Her last words she said to me were. “It’s going to be ok. Just go to your room.” I was frightened. But I did not move. She said it was going to be ok, I believed her. But I knew I wouldn’t hear her sweet voice anymore if I left. She was fighting for our lives. our freedom. 

“Did you not fucking hear me!?” He shrieked his battle cry towards me as he darted me direction.

“Leave him Alone!” My mom’s voice was lightning. She spoke in power with every part of her being. She then began hitting him in the back with a clench fist like a hammer. He turned to her, grabbed her as she showed no mercy with her hammer. A mighty hammer made from pulsing flesh. Then threw her to the living room trinket shelf, shattering the glass. She fell hard on the pieces of false memories and glass when they were young lovers meeting each other.  She couldn’t believe a man who claimed he loved her. Would do such heinous acts on a child she bore for him. That he had fractured and destroyed their innocence. 

As he threw her, she scratched his eyes. The bastard didn’t deserve to see. Especially when he’s like a bull who attacks everything it sees. He cried in wails of pain. She must’ve got him good. Just when I thought she had him as she struggled to get up. And fought with all her might.

In his blind rage. He choked my mother. Like a vengeful spirit, strangling the living in their sleep. But my mom wasn’t in some remote sleep. She was in a living nightmare. In her painful gasps, she tried to scream a cry of painful heartbreak. I ran to help her… but it was too late. There was a snap.

Realising what he had done, he quickly let go.

 My mom slouched in that broken brown shelf with no sign of life. Only visible tears as she gasped her last breath.

My mom was gone…

 Then something strange happened. I ran to my mother to be by her side, and my father grabbed me and pushed me away.

“You killed her!” I shrieked. a cool tension flowed down my body, followed by a burning inside me. My soul was on fire. Like he lit a match while my pain covered me like gasoline and threw the match. I was furious. “You killed her! You evil piece of shit! I hate you!”

my father crawled towards me, like the boogyman that  slithered from under my bed. I quickly stepped a few feet away from him, terrified. I prayed for some way out of this. For some guardian angel who would come and save me. Then, something strange happened. My mom’s hand latched on his right leg. And snapped fast like it bit him. She was dead. But not her hand. My father screamed in pain by the sheer force of her grip. He tried to get her off of him. But her dead hands grabbed his pathetic limb and wouldn’t let go. Like he was about to be dragged into the other world and thrown into the black merciless abyss where he belonged. His leg snapped from his ankle. And once it snapped, he fell into a trance. He looked up at the sky in a jolt. Like he was seeing the face of god and he started to shake uncontrollably. Like he was hit by the force of light and justice, far from here. In another world.

He started to gag and cough. His hands raised in the air and in a fast motion and started to scream like he was seeing a terror.. Like he was falling into a place he didn’t want to go. The lights in the room began to flicker. The lights turned off, and I was in darkness. Then I heard wails of people screaming and fire cooking meat. Oh, god it was terrifying. Not only that. I hear deep low growls, snickering … and my father begging and pleading,.

“ No! Please don’t put me in there! Please!!!”

The snickering was louder and haunting. I never heard so many screams. The last of the signal from hell was the sound of my father falling. Like he was thrown off a cliff… all that was heard after that. Was the fire still popping. Cooking the meat of the the damned souls. The cries had stopped. The lights turned on moments later. And the sound was gone. My father lied on the floor, with a terrified look on his face. And it didn’t rest. Like the muscles of his face were in shock.  My father’s soul was in hell.

Moments later. A silver mist came from my mother’s body. It shined bright and turned into her ghost. She smiled. And without her moving her mouth. I heard her voice not In my head, but my heart say “I love you.” Then the lights shined bright as she floated through the roof. She was gone, and the lights returned to normal. I cried a good cry. My mom was in a better place.

There was a knock at the front door. It was the police. I weakly cried out with all I had in me. “Help!”

After that night, they were shocked to hear my eye witnessing story. How I survived my maniac father and lost my mother. It was sad for them to hear. I never told them about the other world experience. They had no clue how I survived such turmoil. But whenever they ask me my opinion on how I lived through it all. I always say.

By a mother’s love.